Jun 14, 2007

Why do we get this way?

*Goodness goodness I must say that it has been absolutely way too long since I have updated this thing. And you know....it is "The Sweet Life Of Britt". But according to my status, it doesn't seem so sweet, for you guys may think there is no change...EVER! Well, it's time for a little change in my day. There has been a change! There has been way too many changes!! So now it's time to update you on some of my thoughts. But first, I'll just let ya'll know...I'm back home for the next two months as summer continues to go on. I'm missin the amazing experience I have at CBC every moment but it'll come again soon. I'm just workin like crazy and catchin up with the sun, my family, and the friends I have here at home. But here's what I've been pondering about quite a bit lately.
*So as I was e-mailing a really good friend of mine earlier today I was beginning to talk about how I'm doin with being a newly single girl. And in all honesty, I was explaining how Im beginning to focus on my relationship with the LORD first and foremost. But here's what I'm struggling with. Every moment I breathe, eat, sleep, and excercise...I am thinking about whomever I may be marrying and when this amazing man will come around. Why is that? Why can't I simply be content with how things are right now? I've always been one that looks forward to getting married and spending the rest of my life with that one person. But as I've gotten older and enrolled into the bible college atmosphere a.k.a BRIDAL COLLEGE, I've become more impatient....so where is my mr.right? There are so many things I look forward to doing in the future with my life. Things like being an equipt leader for the next generation of young women, and bringing many people to come to know the Lord as their personal savior....and many other things like doing a Cancer walkathon or runathon:-) And makin a life long impact in someones life....many things I CAN'T wait to experience each and every day of my life. But another one of those is being able to fall in love and spend every day good or bad with the one God has brought to me. Why don't I patiently wait instead of IMPATIENTLY wait? I mean seriously...think about it...I have this life long personal relationship with the creator of the universe. The same God that is saving souls each and every day in Darfur, and India. The same God that is protecting our soldiers fighting war in Iraq. The same God that walks beside Billy Graham. Why can't I seek him with my WHOLE heart as I am growing into the woman he has created me to be. Why don't I just focus on falling in love with him every moment of every day? Well...I have come up with the answer...not the answer I love...but...it's because I am only human. I am going to have these rediculous quirks and worries and thoughts. Obviously I have not been given the gift of singleness...or at least I HOPE not...! Well...now that I've just about written a novel, I'm thinking these thoughts and questions may be coming to a close. The only resolution I have is that I am going to continue to wake up each morning and start it with a prayer. A prayer to my God that I can focus on him and seek FIRST the kingdom of God and the heart of my savior. I want to spend this time in my life to grow closer to my Lord even though I know I long for the one to come into my life. I know it will happen...but it will happen in time. In God's time.....