Sweetness to Deepness: Our Story

Recently I've been reminded of how lucky I am to have married my best friend. I remember for many years, waiting and waiting for that special person to come into my life. I dated a few different guys, but when I met my Jason, I knew. I knew his friendship was different. I knew his smile was different. It was for me. It was just for me. And now, as I look back over the last 5 years that I have known him, I am filled with such joy. When he came into my life my second year of college, I knew he was the man I was supposed to marry. I remember sitting in a worship service at his parent's church and just soaked in God's presence. At one point I opened my eyes, and look up at our worship leader and heard "that's the man you're going to marry". Immediately I thought, are you crazy Britt? You don't know this guy...and went through every reason why whatever I heard was wrong. I even remembered one of the conversations I had with my Dad when I was younger about how sometimes we think we are hearing God speak to us, when it just might not be him but rather ourselves. So I went home that night after church and journaled. (It would be fun to go through those old entries just to see all that I had said) Anyway, I decided, I'll just give this to God, lay it down, and see where it goes. After a few weeks of hanging out in groups, one evening everybody bailed and Jason and I ended up being the only ones to go to our weekly coffee night. And that's when I began to realized that God might have had something to do with what I heard in my heart that one night. Over the next 6 months, I really began to fall in love with this guy. And after being just friends for the entire school year, we decided to give a relationship a shot. We dated for 8 months and got engaged. 7 months later we were wed. It was such a fun time. Looking down and seeing a diamond on my ring finger was unreal, especially because it was from the guy that had become my absolute best friend over the span of the last year.

Our honeymoon was wonderful. Romantic, exciting, and full of the hot summer weather you find in South Carolina and Georgia. Everyday was filled with adventure and exploring the east coast. We loved it! So much that we wish we could head back there and do it all over again. I remember one evening we decided to ride our bikes over to another part of Hilton Head Island to see some outdoor concert and eat another incredible dinner. As we were heading home, we noticed the clouds had rolled in and we were caught in a thunder storm/down pour. Which of course reminded us of our wedding day. If I haven't told that story, I'll have to do that another time. Anyway, Southern downpours in July are rather hot, so it was something to be experienced for sure. No need to run under shelter when the rain will only cool you off for a little bit. Needless to say, our honeymoon was just what it should be. Just me and Jason.

The day we got home, we were welcomed by wonderful family and an overwhelming amount of gifts. There is nothing quite like having everything you could possibly need for your first home come in one day. It was like Christmas times ten! That evening though, we were hit with a ton of bricks by some incredibly difficult news. There was some traumatic things going on in the family that would eventually work itself out. Yet, our first year of marriage was incredible difficult. Not between Jason and I. That was beautiful, blissful, and exciting. But there was pain from what had happened after our honeymoon that dug so deep that there was always this dark cloud hanging over us. So as we were trying to get to know each other as husband and wife, we were also trying to deal with some painful family drama right outside our front door. But we made it through stronger. I remember when we had been married for a little over a year and the family issues had cleared up a bit, and we had learn to separate ourselves from it. It was like our honeymoon stage had just begun. I remember looking at Jason and seeing a new man. We were able to look at life differently. I was able to go to weddings and not cry. Before, I wasn't tearing up because of how beautiful everything was, (just cuz I'm more someone that gets really excited and giddy rather than filled with tears.) I was tearing up because I didn't understand why we had to have thunder and lightning on our wedding day. Or why the day we started our lives together  (outside of the honeymoon times of bliss) everything had to change from joy to sorrow and anger. I was filled with a hope that these new couples getting married, wouldn't have to go through what we did. And none of them have praise God!

The point of this blog is not to point fault to anyone, or "brag" about how hard we have had it. The point is to show that those smiling faces in the wedding albums have more of a story to tell. The love that you profess on your wedding day deepens as time goes on. The love I have for Jason is different now, three years later. It's a deeper love. He has become my companion, my life partner. It's a process. Becoming one is a process. It's a difficult process at times, and extremely wonderful at others. I wouldn't change our story, because it's made Jason and I who were are today. The trust and faith I have in him is deeper than it might have been because we learned to depend on each other and the Lord from the beginning. Rather than living in pure romance and bliss, we had to learn to see past the frustrations and remember why we CHOSE to marry each other. We learned to deal with frustrations right then and there when they came up. Of course we still argue and bicker at times. Marriage has it's ups and downs. But those up's and down's have never made me question why I had married this man. They always challenge me to look at myself and change my attitude. Or just TALK it out with the man that I love. Open communication is sometimes the most difficult thing, but it's the most beautiful thing. It strengthens the relationship.


I have a feeling I've written WAY more than I normally do, and that this blog would actually be considered a short book. But it's for a purpose. Marriage is a challenge. If you fight, you are not alone. If you have had some difficult times, you are not alone. More couples have had diffulct first years of marriage than you would know. We've met many that have had their own difficult trials as well. It's life. And when life throws you lemons, turn it into lemonade:)


Blessings to you guys today,

I'm going to go and enjoy some time with the man that I love more and more each and every day. Yep, he's kinda perfect for me. Adorable. And oh so handsome:D

Britt

More Lost than Found

More Lost than Found was an interesting read. In some ways it was a little difficult to get into, but that’s because I’m not one to read a whole lot of self help books anymore. I have 4 years of Bible College to blame for that one. The overriding theme of this book was filled with helpful information in relation to my generation and how they respond to Christianity now days. It helped me understand why I’ve had so many conversations with friends about how they don’t see the need to go to church, spend time with God, and not do certain things. The author makes a few statements that do affirm the fact that many of our young adults sitting in the pews each Sunday are actually more lost than they are found. And even more are leaving the church they have spent so much of their life in. He brings clarity as well as direction in how to encourage and lead them in the right direction.  If you find yourself wondering why there are such a smaller amount of young adults in your church, this book might help give you some insight. The author does explain that it’s not always the church’s fault that they have left. Rather, they are being strongly influenced by the world we live in. I would encourage you to read this book!

Life is...

There's a new song that just speaks to my heart. It's one of Bethel's Loft Session songs, Come to Me. Everytime I hear it, I'm filled with such awe in the God that we serve. I'm hit with such admiration. With such wonder. How can God love me when I continually screw up? How can he show forgiveness and grace after I make mistake after mistake? All he asks is that we come to him with humility and ask for forgiveness. Wow. Really? You mean I don't need to go out and do this or this or that and earn your forgiveness? You mean you give it freely? Because you love me?

Wow. Speechless. 

How can we not give a God like this a chance? 

How can we not take a moment each day to thank him for loving me JUSTAS I AM. 

How can we not desire to make a change in our attitudes, in our temp tantrums?

How can we continue on a path towards destruction, if that's what we've decided....

I remember reaching a point in my life where I finally understood that our God is a God of love. He doesn't sit up in heaven waiting for us to make a mistake, then hit us with that painful lightning bolt. He's a God of love. Just like you may be a parent of love. You desire for your children to make good decisions, because you love them. You don't want anything to harm them. Neither does our God. 

Recently I've been feeling a bit bogged down with the stresses of life, the pressures, the frustrations. I'm not really a person that focuses too much on that stuff, but there are times where I do have something heavy on my heart. And I'm reminded of how incredible my God is. How he is full of such incredible grace and forgiveness. And goodness does he know how to bless his children! 

Sometimes taking that moment to reflect on those things about us we desire to work on, is a good thing. It's refreshing once the frustration is replaced with "...the peace of God that goes beyond our understanding..." Phil 4:... 

Listen to this song. It's incredible. It's a reminder that the God we pray to each night, and sing to each Sunday, is listening. Thank you God! 

Come to me, I'm all you need. I'm everything. 

I am your anger in the wind and the waves

I am your steadfast, so don't be afraid. 

Though your heart and flesh my fail you, I'm your FAITHFUL STRENGTH

I am with you, wherever you go. 

Come to me, I'm all you need. 

Wow, how cool is our God:)

I love him.

B

In The Meantime...

Life sure feels beautiful right now.
I mean, we are living the dream...
We have now moved back to the states and both have great jobs. We live in a cute little condo, in just about the best location for us right now. What can beat having The Woods Coffee shop around the corner and my work across the street. And don't forget Fred Meyer that way, and Costco this way, and Target--right over there. Basically, it's the best. We have the freedom to go out to eat once a week, wherever we would like. Then curl up on the couch together each evening to watch our latest favs. We are plugged into an amazing church and get to experience a journey that we weren't sure would come for a while.

I mean seriously, life is so good.

Yet the question still lingers....

When are they going to have a baby?

The question lingers for every married couple that has been married a few years and are without wee ones.

But why?

Don't get me wrong, I adore little kids. Actually, I have my moments daily where I think I'm ready to have one of my own. People that know me, know that I can't wait to hold a baby, or chat with a 2 year old. They are just precious and full of joy. And I want some of that.

But not quite yet.

Because, in the meantime...

-I want to get to know my husband better. I want to be able to come home each evening and sit at the dinner table and hear about his day without any interruptions.
-I want to sleep in till however long Saturday mornings and wake up to my sweet husband, knowing we don't have to get up just quite yet.
-I want to be able to go out for dessert randomly, or run over to our friends how to watch some random tv show.
-I want to continue these weekly date nights just because we can.
-I want to hold on to these "smaller" loads of laundry just a bit longer.
-And soak up  the tidy or some what tidy home.
-I enjoy being able to stay out later some nights, or settle down real early others.
-I want to buy a home first, and make it our own.

But you know, even as I write this, I look forward to the day where everything changes and we are hopefully blessed with a beautiful little miracle. Everything in my wants to be a Mommy. Everything.

Yet, the time has not come just yet. And we are going to soak this up a little bit longer, this time known as "Just the Two of Us".

So in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my sweet husband. And even talk about our future Jason Jr's here and there....

And for those of you that are not ready to start that adorable family just yet, it's ok. It's ok to enjoy your time together. It's ok to look forward to the future of having kids and knowing that you aren't quite ready. It's ok.

 God has a plan remember?

I would much rather stick to his plan rather than mine...

And for now, I think his plan is to be content in the meantime...to soak up each and every moment.

Yep, I like this whole meantime thing.

A Bittersweet Goodbye

Today I had to say goodbye to my friend Jacob. Jacob is a 99 year old gentleman that lives on the bottom floor of my building, the building I will be leaving very soon. I first met this man walking home from class last year. He has walked in front of our building every single day for 3 years now, rain or shine. Did I mention he is 99 years old? As I began to see him almost everyday, a friendship formed and I got to know a little more about this man. One day I brought some cookies down to his apartment, no need to have too many of those lying around my house, that's for sure. He began to tell me about himself and offered to lend me a book he had written, his own memoir.

Now for any of you that know me well, know how much I love elderly people. From the time I was a little girl, my Grandmother would take me on Saturday's to visit my great-aunt and her pals at the nursing home, as well as my Great-Grandmother in the later years. A passion to get to know elderly people started at a very young age. In the 5th grade, I volunteered once a week at that same nursing home by painting nails for the older women, and baking cookies galore. Those are memories that I cherish, for because I became comfortable with the elderly people at a young age, I was led to take the time to stop and talk to Jacob that first day walking home from school.

Jacob is one of the wisest, dearest, soft hearted gentleman I have ever met. In reading through his life story I learned that he spent years living out in the middle of nowhere ministering to the native culture. When he moved on from that, he spent many years teaching English, and I mean many many years....until he was at least 80. It's just incredible to see the life this man lives. He is even still driving! One of his funniest jokes comes from talking about how the DMV renewed his license until 2014....he's 99 years old guys!

Anyway, for the last few weeks I've been thinking about how I needed to go downstairs and say goodbye. Yet I just couldn't bring myself to make the time, and now I know why. It was bittersweet to see him, for I'm not sure if I will ever see this wonderful gentleman again. He's had quite a few falls over the last few months, which means he just might need to move into a rest home sooner than he would like. It just breaks my heart to think about all the people who have had to move into homes like that even though they desire to have their independence. But, his spirits are still so high. He really messed up his shoulder from his last big fall about 8 months ago. Yet he still does his exercises every single day because he thinks that while he is still here, why not take care of the body I do have and live life to the fullest. Now of course he moves slowly, but he's still moving!

As we were sitting and talking about how much longer he will be living in this building because of the amount of falls he had, I asked him how come he has such a positive attitude. These were his words, "I often think of life like a weave. You've got strings going up, and strings going in and out sideways. Without these strings going sideways, the weave would be nothing but a plain old mop. Life is the same way. You have the regularity, comfort, and all things good in the strings that are going up and down. The unfamiliar, challenging, and disheartening are those going in and out of those other strings. Looking at them as an entire weave, you see life in itself. It's about taking the good and walking strongly through the bad."

Wow. Thank you Jacob for the reminder that life has its ups and downs. This man lost his wife over 20 years ago, and yet he has continued to live with hope and pure joy. A while back I asked him if he ever had a longing to go to heaven. And his response was that he looks forward to the day when he does get to go home, yet he enjoys life here on earth. Talk about living in the meantime. He knows that there will come a day when he gets to leave his old body and see his beautiful wife again. Yet he doesn't find the point in moping about how he's got an achy back, or a sore shoulder. He finds joy in TODAY. RIGHT NOW.

I just had to blog about this man because there is such truth in his life. There is such beauty in God's life through Jacob. I look forward to seeing him again in heaven someday, but for now I will be thankful for his letters. It's bittersweet to say goodbye to someone when you know they may not be around for much longer. Yet, at the rate Jacob is going, he could very well outlive me!

Maybe you should stop and say hello to that older woman you see in church every Sunday bringing out the hanky because Jesus touches her heart so deeply. Or stop and talk to the man that sits in the back row every single Sunday. There is a gift that you can receive from them that you can't get from anyone else. There is wisdom that can be shared, experiences that can be learned from, and joy that can be contagious. I thank God for the elderly, for they demonstrate just another part of Jesus that we often overlook. The meek, mild, soft hearted, weathered, and beautiful.

Britt

Falling in Love with the Season

Tonight I came home from work and officially made my first rich fall dinner. Mom's Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, green salad, warm garlic bread. Goodness! I even ended the night enjoying a personal choc chip cookie pie. Such a cool recipe that I found on Pinterest! After those pumpkin spice latte's came out at work a few weeks ago, I've been smelling and tasting the glorious flavors of fall for a while now. Yet, until yesterday, the weather wasn't complimenting those flavors as much as I had hoped. Last week we were laying in our bed at night with three fans going, and still complaining about the heat. This week, it's a whole different story and to be honest I love it! I took a nice long nap on the couch yesterday, soaking in the sounds of the wind and rain hitting our building. Autumn leaves, acorn and fig candles, boots and jackets....ahh these are all coming back into season and I am enjoying every single moment! All of this "fall" talk gets me to thinking  about my family....ok, let's be honest here, everything gets me thinking about my family! But bare with me, I'm feeling the need to reminisce.

Fall meant a few wonderful things in the Larson household. Halloween was just around the corner, and we new this because the pumpkins started popping up in grocery stores, and signs for pumpkin patches started showing up everywhere. It almost feels like yesterday my big brother Alex and I were raking the leaves with Dad, putting them into a pile to jump into, and realize that it actually doesn't feel as good as it looks in our story books. Plus, once you jump in those piles of leaves, you've got to rake them back up again! Looks like I've always had a bit of OCD in my bones....

Sometimes Dad would burn the leaves, which meant the smells of autumn were in full force in our backyard. I remember seeing Mom through the kitchen window cooking up a creamy cheesy soup for us to enjoy after we were done helping Dad. Of course we would be watching Funniest Home Video's while enjoying that amazing soup. My precious little Joshy, my baby brother was always hanging out with us, sharing his adorable little presence every where he went. And Jazz...oh Jazz...or gorgeous white dog that looked like a Blonde Golden Retriever, yet was actually called a Brittany dog. It was meant to be!

Halloween was always a fun time for us, for we would make leave stuffed scare crows, and carve pumpkins with Dad in the garage. I don't remember too many years where we didn't go to some pumpkin patch to pick out our very own pumpkins. Anytime we carved these orange things, my Dad would get a brilliant idea to use all sorts of little electric saws to get as clean a cut as he could. I don't remember too much of a mess that's for sure. And that almost warms my heart! I'm a Daddy's girl that's for sure....obsessively clean at times.

Each time Alex and I came back from Trick-or-treating with Mom, Dad, Joshy, Grandma, and Grandpa, we would dump out all of our candy in the living room floor, so that we could swap candies. Joshy of course was too little to have that much freedom with sugar, so we definitely had to wait until the little pooper was out in his toddler bed.

I realize that none of these memories will have a whole lot of significance for you, and that's ok. As I sat in my bubble bath tonight I was reminded of so many wonderful memories I've shared with my beautiful family. I was reminded of the realty that laughter has always been a part of our lives, and it continues today whenever we are together. It's one of the most refreshing things about being with my family. I was reminded of the many special holidays we've shared together, and it made me excited to share those same holidays in the future when my Mom and Dad are also known as Grandpa and Nana.

I hope this sparks some of your most treasured memories of fall with your family or other loved ones. Just taking the time to reminisce brings a renewed joy to my heart.

Love you so much Mom, you are my best friend. I loved that each day I become more like you!
Love you so much Dad! Your laughter, wisdom, and humility never cease to amaze me!
Love you so much Alex! I'm praying for you EVERY SINGLE DAY and can't wait to reminisce with you as soon as you are home. I'm so proud of you soldier!
Love you so much Joshy Squashy! You're my buddy, and I love looking back and seeing how much fun I've had being your big sister!
Last but definitely not least, to my sweet little Charlie Barley...my mini wiener dog puppers that is probably curled up in bed as I type...I miss your sloppy little kisses and warm cuddles every night! Yes. I JUST wrote a message to our mini wiener dog. It's therapeutic for this homesick girl:)

Content Yet Ansy

Right now, I'm sitting in the most perfect atmosphere there is for me to write. A fresh new fall candle called Autumn from Bath & Body Works is filling my home with a warm and cozy scent. I've got my new favorite musician playing in the background, Joy Williams. Her stuff with The Civil Wars got me hooked, and I recommend you checking her new stuff out. Anyway, because I'm a little ahead of the seasons, I've got all the windows open, and fans a blowing so that this warm 4th floor place can chill out a wee bit.
 I love it.
And I'm so thankful for this home.
I'm so thankful for a husband that enjoys spending time with his buddies, so I can enjoy so me time at home. Which means, cleaning, doodling around, cooking a light and healthy meal, enjoying some chocolate, not getting out of my pj's until I shower at 10:00 pm and head to be, in a fresh new pair of pj's. Funny part, there are no lights on in my house. As I sat down to write, the sun was going down. So as I sit here continuing to write, the sun has definately made its way to the other side of the world to brighten up their day.

Speaking of the other side of the world, be praying for our soldiers. My brother is literally battling every single day in Kandahar, Afghanistan with the US Army. There's so many miracle stories my Dad has shared with me, things that my brother has told him, that sometimes I wish I never heard. I wish I could share them on here, yet obviously there is confidentiality that comes along with being a military family. All I can say, there have been many moments where their lives were so closely on the line, and God's provision took over and saved them. It almost leads me to tears to think my precious big brother is experiencing this himself, and that it's not someone else I am talking about. Yet, the truth is, it is my big brother. It is millions of other big brothers. So pray. Every morning as you are waking up, pray that our soldiers can fall asleep soundly and peacefully, as peaceful as it can be knowing what you are going to do in a few hours. Pray for their protection every second of their day. Alex has said he is really seeing the prayers, for there have been too many close calls. Pray that they don't get sick, that they can shower. Pray that the food they are given will nourish their bodies. The frontline guys aren't getting too many fresh meals. I'm not sure about the others, but the infantry are eating to keep going. Just pray. That's all we can do right now. Pray. For our leaders, our president, for that country so when we leave, the Taliban doesn't just take over completely and ruin everything we've gone there to do. And pray for my Mom. For my Dad and little brother. Pray for all brothers, sisters, Mom's and Dad's, wives, son's, and daughters. Pray that they can sleep each night in peace knowing that God has his hand over their soldier. Pray that they don't allow fear, worry, and sadness to take over to the point of taking the joy out of every moment. Just pray.

That's all I've got for you guys, blessings.

Brit