The Waiting Place

Ok, I'm sold! A few weeks ago I ordered this book because the title was so intriguing. Yet, once I opened the first page and began my journey through another perspective, I knew what was so attractive to the book. Eileen Button takes the time to explain to each of us how we are always waiting for something to happen. We are waiting to graduate from college, instead of enjoying that fast paced, energetic, learning environment. We are waiting to find the one we are to marry, instead of enjoying the freedom we have while we are single. We are waiting to have a baby, instead of soaking in that time with our spouse. We are waiting for that screaming child to grow up so we can enjoy the quietness of home while they are at school.

This hit me so close to home, let me tell ya! I have been in a place of waiting for quite some time now. Let's just say almost the entire time I've been married which is two years in July. I've been waiting to "start our next adventure together wherever that may be". You see, Jason was going through his final year of school last year, and then I completed mine this year. Now, our lives are supposed to begin right? We're supposed to find that church to make our own NOW. We're supposed to move into the states like we have been planning, NOW. We are supposed to be moving out of our first little home, into our second little home. NOW.

But that's not exactly what we're supposed to do NOW, or else it would be happening NOW. Many close friends have reminded us to enjoy this time of transition, because there is a reason for it. Yet it seems to have taken me a while to figure that out. This book made the light bulb come on full force! I get it! In these times of "mundane normalcy" or "absolute uncertainty", we are to find the simple things to appreciate. This book is more of memoir of Eileen's life and how she came to see purpose and beauty in the times of waiting.

 Now that's a book you should read!

Britt

I'm a Giver

The last two days have been incredibly beautiful outside. The sun has been shining, filling my soul with some amazing joy and refreshment let me tell you. It's interesting how I see sunny days now that I'm older. It's been a long wet winter, a winter I have become so accustomed to being that I was born a West Coast girl and have fallen in love with cold winter nights bundled up in bed listening to the rain hitting the roof. Yet when spring actually makes its entrance, more than just an official day on our calendar, I get filled with excitement. Excitement for BBQ's with new friends and old friends, camping trips with my family, and walks under the stars. But those walks under the stars are so much different living deep within the heart of a city. Not a huge city like New York, but a large enough city to light up the sky so much the stars seem further away. I miss the stars in my blessed little home town Sublimity. I miss going for walks at night, once the sun has actually gone down, and only hearing a few cars drive by, somewhere in the distance. Here, cars drive by constantly and only lessen around 3 in the morning. 

What does this have to do with my being a giver, you might be asking? 

Today I was talking about life with a good friend of mine. A friend that has experienced a similar time of transition and the difficulty that comes from that. We were talking about how I've been feeling lately, how I'm more irritable, stressed, anxious, and just not Me. We were talking about how I am even in the midst of a time when some people would be feeling more free than a bird. 

I'm currently looking for a job, which is more stressful than it is relaxing. 

I'm currently a college graduate. 

I'm currently in my second year of marriage, still working out those newlywed quirks.

I'm currently a sister of a strong soldier fighting for our freedom in Afghanistan.

I'm currently on a journey with my husband trying to figure out where I next chapter will begin, Canada or the US?

I'm currently STILL getting used to living 6 hours away from my incredible family and trying to see that as a blessing, to see it as I'm ONLY 6 hours away.

I'm currently a beholder of an incredibly large dream. A dream to fill each and every woman I can with the truth that they are beautiful JUST THE WAY THEY ARE.

I'm currently trying to embrace that truth every single day. 

I'm currently overwhelmed. anxious. nervous. and feeling like I've given our more than I should have.

How did I get to that? You might be reading the different things I am "currently" experiencing, and wondered, what's the big deal? That's life? 

Totally agree. Yet, being that I am the type of person that gives and gives and gives and wants to give more, I can often give so much that when I come home, close the door, all I want to do is BE. Sometimes I forget to take care of me. Now, I do take care of my body by exercising and eating well. I also can't live without my time with God each day in some way, shape, or form. But sometimes I don't allow myself to JUST BE. I don't allow myself to have a bad day, because when I do I put the pressure on myself to stop being this, or that, and then the anxiety begins to roll. Sometimes, people like that, can give so much of themselves, that they hit a point where they cannot give anymore. 

And I can see that point in the distance. 

And if I don't stop, and take care of me, take care of my heart....something else will have to stop me. 

I love the friendships I have in my life. Lately I've been realizing that God has truly blessed me with amazing friends, with a Mom who is my best friend, with a Dad who never lets me forget that I'm his only little girl, with brothers who just love me for me, with a GrandMother who is just my buddy, with a husband who loves me for me, who cherishes me for me, who challenges me, yet protects my precious heart. I feel SO blessed. 

And I don't want to take advantage of that. I want to continue to be able to bless those friends, encourage those friends, and hold their hand when they feel that they can't give anymore. 

But in order to do that, I need to take care of me. I need to stop for a moment each day to remember that I don't need to be "super wife". That Jason is blessed by everything I do already. I need to remember that if I'm having a bad day, I can have a bad day. I don't need to be perfect. I need to remember that I'm not always going to have the right words to say to a friend in need. I'm not always going to make every single woman know that they are beautiful. That's not a burden I need to carry. I'm not going to conquer the world and I sure don't need to! I need to remember that the right job will come, I just need to keep trying. I need to remember that what I am focusing on entirely, is going to change the way I am thinking. So if I'm focusing on health and fitness, to the point of obsession, I'm definitely going to get let down. If I'm focusing on miscommunication and hurts from others, I'm going to really feel the pain that comes from that. 

Where I am going with this is this...

I, or even YOU, sometimes really need to get our focus back on where it should be.

Sometimes that's what's wrong. Sometimes I'm just really needing to let go of my fears, imperfections, hopes, desires for others, and remember that God is in control of my life. That he made me the way that I am and wants me to take care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

I know I'm not the only one that goes through rough patches? Can I get an amen from anyone out there!?

God is the one that fills me when I've given all that I can give. 

Brit

What's He REALLY Thinking?

A few months ago I started to read this book thinking there might be a few good tips in there for this kinda sorta newlywed, and boy was I wrong! Ever single chapter was full of insight on things I had been aware of, yet needed to be reminded of. Being married is a beautiful journey, yet it can be full of fights that aren't really needed. Some arguments are important and are needing to be worked through. While other's are full of miscommunication and can be avoided. As I read through this book, I was reminded of how incredible my husband truly is. I was challenged to think about his point of view and the way he sees things rather than being consumed with my own perception. I was filled with a sense of joy as I read this and would challenge you to pick it up at your local bookstore. Such a good read! 

Love is Patient...why aren't I?

The other night I was laying there, trying to fall asleep and was thinking about life. Imagine that? I was thinking about some of the conversations I'd had with Jason earlier that day and was reminded of my favorite, most convicting verse. I call it the "Love is..." verse.

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres."

So as I lay there going over each one of those reminders of TRUE love, these were my silent comments...

Boy do I love my Husband, but do I REALLY show that all that time?

Love is patient- oops, I'm not very patient. I mean seriously, that's not one of my strengths...
Love is kind- on good days, when things go well, I'm very kind! Dang it...
Love does not envy- well, the only thing I envy is the fact that Jase can eat a quesadilla at 11:00 at night and not have that last a lifetime on the hips...
Love does not boast- I'm not a boaster...unless it's boasting when you loudly state that you did ALL the dishes
Love is not proud- I'm sure God could tell me a few times I've been a bit proud...
Love is not rude- oops...
Love is not self-seeking- ever? Really? Are you sure?
Love is not easily angered- Crap.
Love does not keep record of wrongs- None? Ever? I mean they give a good case during an argument though...ok, I get it...it NEVER keeps record of wrongs....
Love does not delight in evil- yesss, I sure don't either!
Love rejoices with the truth- dang it, the devil sure knows how to bug me with lies, and more often than not I believe them!
I think you are getting the picture....aren't you?

You know what's interesting about this little conversation I was having as I lay there in bed, next to the man I truly do love? I was humbled. And boy was I humbled. I'm still being humbled as I sit here and type this blog. Over the last two years I've gotten together with many good girlfriends who are young marrieds as well, and we've talked about these things many times...

We've wondered why we could love someone so much, yet treat them with such, well, UNlove.
That's right. UNlove. I mean, we're def not showing them LOVE.

I didn't lay there feeling extremely angry with myself, distraught over the fact that I can fail at showing love to my husband. I was actually reminded of how much I REALLY need God in my life, showing me where I am not treating others right. Without Him, I continue to think I'm actually doing pretty well, even though I may be hurting some of the closest people to me.

There are many days that I do show love, just like this verse demonstrates it. There are weeks where I'm not self-seeking, rude, impatient...and those are wonderful weeks. There is something to the saying, "A happy wife is a happy house"Or whatever it may be, you know what I'm getting at.

So where am I going with this? What's the point of this blog anyway?

I just wanted to be honest with you and share the reality that NONE of us are perfect. We all make our mistakes, and we all have our bad days. Yet, there's something beautiful in the way God whispers in our hearts, like he did the other night. He whispered this precious verse, at just the perfect time. He reminded me that there are always things I need to work on....constantly...yet He is there to guide me. This verse reminds me of what TRUE love is and how I can TRULY LIVE IT OUT.

Yep.
You aren't the only one that can be snotty. grumpy. impatient.
I can too.
But we can read this verse and remember that there's a much better road to take.

Love is patient- I can be patient...I just need to try.
Love is kind- I am kind to everyone else, so why not remember this with my true love?
It does not envy- Amen!
It does not boast- I can hold me tongue and be reminded of ALL the incredible things Jason does for me everyday.
It is not proud- Just humble yourself girl, that's the best way to go!
It is not rude- I wasn't rude until we lived together, so why not be mature;)
It is not self-seeking- we are a team, why not think/act/live that out?
It is not easily angered- patience, remember? PATIENCE
It keeps no record of wrongs- this really only escalates any argument so why pull that card?

You get where I'm going...

Take a moment to go over these things. How are you NOT showing love?

Love to you all,

Britt

Good Gifts. Great gifts!

It always seems to happen this way.

Tonight as I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, but really just listening to Jason breathing, fast asleep, my mind began to wander.

Uh oh! It's a good thing, I promise!

I just started to think about how excited I was to have received a Dyson from my parents for graduation. For those of you that have not been formally introduced to every newlywed's or not so newlywed's bff, check it out! It's worth every penny!

Anyway, so as I just reminisced on the moment I opened my present, and the joy I felt and the hugs my parent's received....I was reminded of all the incredible gifts my parents have given me in the past. My Mom and Dad have always made opening up gifts such an exciting experience. And even if there weren't any gifts to be opened, anytime I am with my family it is wonderful. But, since we're on the topic, I will continue.

There has not been one Christmas that my Dad has not gone overboard at least a little bit. Sometimes we would wake up to brand new rollerblades, or boom boxes (when they were cooler than the microscopic things we call amazing today) or even a doll house! I know my Mom was in on each and every one of these things, and she always out does herself when it comes to giving gifts, but Dad--he LOVES giving good gifts!

EVERY single Christmas, Mom opens her gift from Dad and says, "Eric, you promised you weren't going to spend very much this year." Guys, I'm not kidding. This happens every single year, even if they give a heads up saying that it's going to be a smaller Christmas (which we've always been fine with!!)

My Dad just LOVES to give good gifts. He really does! And I know he does it for many reasons...He's just an incredible Father, Husband, Son, Brother--he pretty much rocks.

But as I lay there thinking about how cool my Dad is, I heard this quiet voice whisper in my heart...

"I love to give good gifts too..."

How cool is our God? Just when I'm basically praising him for giving me such an incredible Father here on Earth, he reminds me that he kinda sorta loves me too. He even LOVES to give me good gifts too! Sometimes those gifts come in something small like the person in line ahead of you paying for your coffee...or a call from a friend saying exactly what you needed to hear...or a job just when you need it most...or protection from something horrible...or food on your table every single night...or a new home for you and your family...or goodness I really could go on and on but we get the point.

Our God LOVES to give good gifts!

I was reminded of this verse, 1 John 3:1
"See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!"

Talk about the most incredible gift ever! He calls us his sons and daughters....for that is what we truly are.

May you soak up this truth today, that you are the son or daughter of the creator of this earth, and he LOVES to give you GREAT gifts!!!

Blessings-
Britt

Blissful Weekend...

So I have to share....

But first, I've been the one sitting here reading sweet things other hubby's have done and have been like WHAT? No fair!

So, I must say, your time will come...Your time....will come:)

So Friday morning I was watching the little guy I watch every week and got a text from Jase asking if I thought it would be fun to get dressed up and go out to eat with some friends in White Rock. Of course I was excited about this idea! So the plan was that we would head out that way to play some games with friends and then go out to eat that night. We would come back and sleep at one of our friends houses so that we could go to church at Relate Church in Surrey Sunday morning. I loved the plan and had no thoughts to doubt it!

Saturday morning was just nice being able to relax and spend some time at home together. We got ready to go and headed out the door around one. As we were making our way downstairs, I thought, wouldn't it be so cool if Jason was actually surprising me with a weekend somewhere else? So, being the jabber mouth that I am, I told Jason of this glorious thought. Little did I know, that was the plan!

Jason, being the cool, smart, hilarious guy that he is, he took this comment and played with it. He said, "well that's a bummer, no I feel bad that I'm not doing something like that for you. Why did you have to say that?" I was totally feeling bad but also confused as to why that upset him? I mean really, I've  "thought out loud" much worse!

Anyway, the drive to Surrey was nice and relaxing, for the passenger at least;) There was quite a bit of traffic but we just talked and kept a good attitude...Then, Jason went passed the Surrey exit and just kept driving....I didn't think about it too much since I don't know that area. The only thing going on in my mind was, "I've never gone this far, cuz all I know is that there's no more exits leading into Surrey, and this small town girl would be making her way to Vancouver having no idea how to get back!"

Then he just looked at me and said, "we're actually going to Vancouver"......

And I didn't believe him....
And he kept going, and shared all the details...
And then I kinda believed him....
And said..."No way, are you serious? I'm so excited. I just have no words to say. Thank you. You are a doll. I am so excited. Are you serious? Are you really serious? Like can I get excited?

Obviously, I didn't have a problem finding the words to say....

Needless to say, we had a romantic day walking along English Bay and Vancouver. Of course I had to grab a Chai Latte from a coffee shop I'd never been to. Blenz-you did well! We had reservations at a restaurant and got all fancied up for it just like I had originally thought.

Adorable.

It was just perfect! And I had to share, because I needed to share the details with you Mom and Dad, and for the friends that I would typically share them with....

But for the rest of you, I hope you were able to see how wonderful my Hubby is!!!

Such a blessing:D

The Grace of a Mother's Gift

I actually just wrote this paper for an art class but felt that I had to share it with you ladies and gents. Even if it's not Mother's Day, take a moment to remember how incredible your MommyLove's are...

It is not uncommon to be in your twenties and know of eight different women expecting their first, second, or even third child. To be realistic, that number is only going to grow. You may be asking why I would choose the depiction of a new Mother and her newborn child to observe for an art project, and the answer is why not? As I was walking through the art gallery down the road, The Reach, I was looking for a specific piece of work to use as the basis for my assignment. Yet, as I took a step back to think about the other things in my life that represent some of the most beautiful art, I was reminded of a new Mother gazing down at her precious little girl.

            For this specific assignment, I have one new Mother in mind specifically, for she and her husband are great friends of mine. Jenn and her beautiful baby girl Grace have left an everlasting impression on my heart, for there is such beauty in the newness of their love. Grace came into this world in the same way as every other human being, knowing but one person, the woman carrying her. It became obvious from the very beginning that this precious newborn knew the voice of her Father and found comfort in his arms. Yet for this specific assignment, it is my desire to focus our attention on the relationship between a Mother and her child. Being that it is my dream to embark on this adventure in the future, a large part of me finds this miracle intriguing and breathtaking.

            In the first conversation I had with this new Mother, Jenn made the comment that while she was in the hospital, there were about twenty different people that came to visit her and meet her new little princess. Each one of these people were full of love and kindness, yet Grace seemed a little uneasy until she heard her Mother say, “It’s ok sweetie, this is your …” This was a reoccurring theme that carried through out the entire stay in the hospital, and to some degree it made Jenn feel good. This demonstrated that this child, whom Jenn had only felt but had never truly met, actually knew who she was. She found comfort in her voice, and peace in her embrace. From the moment Grace had entered this world, she knew that there was someone that loved her, and desired to protect her.

            As a viewer, you cannot help but feel the desire to experience a love such as this. It’s almost impossible not to feel joy for Jenn as she gains confidence each time she is the only one that can calm her child down. I remember having conversations with Jenn from the beginning of her pregnancy until close to the end and she would say that she afraid she would not know what to do when Grace cried. There were many different comments expressing fear and insecurity, yet that seemed to end once the child came into this world. The comments leaning towards fear or insecurity were more in relation to discipline and everything else that comes later on in a child’s life, which is understandable. I remember the first time I was able to meet Grace, she was hidden under a blanket filling her tummy with warm milk from her Mommy. The look on Jenn’s face was a mix between utter exhaustion and absolute joy. It was evident that there was an immediate connection with her child that was giving her the energy she needed in order to push through the moments of weakness and exhaustion. As a viewer, it is almost impossible not to look at this newborn like a complete miracle. Everything about her life thus far is a miracle, and it’s done completely by God. How can this experience not be related to art?

            Sitting back and listening to this new Mother explain the tiresome days she has experienced since the birth of her child, I was filled with such awe. Such awe in the fact that I too was the one keeping my Mother up until the wee hours of the morning, taking every ounce of energy from her. It’s hard not to wonder what it would be like to see my Mother sitting in that rocking chair, looking down at my sweet little face with such admiration and love. Thoughts such as these not only fill me with wonder, but also with appreciation that I was given an incredible family, for not all are given that.

            The only issue that I could tangibly come up with this experience is the fact that someday, this little girl is going to grow up and no longer need her Mother like she does now. For most this is not an issue, but something of great joy. For my own Mother, this was an experience of heartache. All three of her children seemed to grow up in their own unique ways in a very short period of time. The weekend after my beautiful wedding day, my oldest brother left to join the Army. Weeks after this difficult reality, my youngest brother seemed to leave the little boy in him behind as he started to grow into a teenager. All of these things are not horrible, and each one of these kids have grown up into wonderful young adults. Yet, the woman that brought them into this world experienced such a great amount of change in such a short amount of time that it left her wondering where her babies went. It was as though one day she was cuddling with all three of these children on the couch, discovering new adventures through a storybook. Then the next day, they were clipping their wings and flying into a new sunrise. So this picture I am left with is that being a Mother has its gifts, for there are many. Yet, it also has an element of heartache and for some, that heartache is more traumatic than others.

            So as I sit back and look at this beautiful new Mother, swaddling her precious gem, I am filled with a plethora of prayers. My first prayer is that Jenn can enjoy each and every passing moment with this little girl, as I have with my Mother. I am reminded of the countless shopping trips and the “Girl’s day outs” that were filled with fun, joy, and laughter. My second prayer is that every teenage argument can be tamed with the reality that Jenn just adores her little girl, and desires the absolute best for her. This is something that took time for me, as I was often the one carrying on with that pre-Madonna attitude. My third prayer is that Grace will come to see how incredibly full of wisdom her Mother is. It is my desire that she can appreciate everything her Mother has done, just as I have come to realize. My fourth prayer is a prayer of protection. Knowing what is going on in this world, it breaks my heart to even have to see this precious little angel walk out that door alone. Yet, I am reminded that she has Godly parents, and for that she is blessed. My fifth and final prayer is for Jenn. In seeing what my own Mother has experienced as her nest is quickly becoming empty, I am discovering that this is a difficult transition for most. It is my prayer that she may experience absolute peace and healing when that time comes. Yet, I pray that she is able to enjoy each moment now without ever giving that future thought a moment’s worry.

            In thinking about the picture of this precious new Mother and her gift of a baby girl, I am filled with awe in the reality that God created them both. He created this young woman to carry this child until the day she was supposed to be born. He gave her the strength and endurance to literally push through an incredibly long and strenuous labor, and for that I am inspired. It is almost impossible not to capture a glimpse of the glory of God when you picture Jenn holding Grace for the first time. It’s an absolute picture of beauty, for God has bestowed one of his most precious gifts on this young family. He has demonstrated just what this is as the little girl’s name means, grace.

As we are all but sinners, it is incredible to see that because of God’s grace, we are forgiven. Even in our weakness, he pours his gifts upon us, and for that I am eternally thankful. I remember hearing Jenn talk about the name of her baby, and the reason she had chosen it and I was filled with absolute joy. For we have all been shown grace, and now she has been given Grace.