Life is so short. Life is incredibly precious.
Yesterday morning, a friend from high school lost his life. Today, a baby boy is trying to hold on to his. What do we make of this? Even though I am not closely tied to either of these beautiful souls, my heart goes out to their families.
Orrin Coates. A friend of many from high school, a best friend today, a brother, an uncle, a son. Orrin brought life to those he spent time with, this I do remember even though it's been a few years. He knew what his plans were, and he was full of joy because of that. Orrin, life took him too soon.
Baby Bowen. He was born with a heart that was under developed. He has a Mommy and Daddy that love him so much. Two big sisters that can't wait to play with their little brother. Bowen, a life that is fighting so hard to keep going.
God, we question why things like this happen. We don't understand why anyone has to lose a life so young, or be born with burdens that are at times physically impossible to bare. This reminds me of our little Carter that passed away a few months ago, that fought an incredibly long and grueling fight with cancer. Lord, why do they have to face this?
Loss is never something easy to grasp. Even when my precious GrandFather died Christmas day three years ago, it was still heart wrenching and life changing even though he had lived a long and beautiful life.
I'm reading through a book for one of my classes and these words resonated in my heart when thinking about loss. "Loss, any kind of loss---rejection, abandonment, divorce, death---is a shocking, numbing, gray thing that at the outset, at least, freezes the heart and slows the mind. Loss changes life at the root. Irrevocable. What was once the center of life--the person, the position, the plan, the lifestyle---is no more." (The Story of Ruth)
Loss freezes the heart and slows the mind.
So how to we grasp this? I'm speaking for those of us on the outside looking in. We may not have been in the direct line of this loss, yet we still experience this sadness and utter shock of the preciousness of life.
I don't know about you, but I have to run to God. I may not understand why things are happening the way they are, but I know that he does. He's the one that brought life into Orrin the day he was born. He's the one continuing to breathe life into the lungs of little baby Bowen.
We may not be experiencing loss the same as those who have lost their son, their brother, their best friend. But our lives have been shaken a bit. Our eyes have been opened to the reality of life, and the shortness of it at times.
This morning I woke up with a heavy heart. I was sad for Orrin's family. I felt for his close friends. I was wondering how baby Bowen was doing, wondering how his new Mommy and Daddy were handling this challenging time. So I chose to open my bible, and seek some encouragement, some comfort from my God.
" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31
Then I skimmed further and found this,
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
Guys, God is holding onto us. He is taking care of Orrin's family, he is holding the hand of Bowen. No matter where you are at in life, no matter what types of loss you have experienced, God is holding your hand. He wants you to know how much he loves you. So cry out to him, pray to him. He is listening.
My challenge for myself, and for you today, is to remind your family that you love them. Tell your closest friends how much you cherish them. Hug those you love, and kiss your children goodnight. But most of all, pray for those who are experiencing the loss first hand. Pray for those who are hoping for a life to just hold on.
Life is a beautiful thing. Don't take it for granted.
Sep 17, 2010
Sep 12, 2010
Waiting for Something Beautiful
Yep. I'm listening to that amazing song by Needtobreathe called Something Beautiful.
And once again, I'm inspired.
The past few weeks have been just wonderful! I finished my job with the college and was able to do some last minute deep cleaning before my busy final year at CBC started. It was so nice to have a few weeks just to myself cleaning, and enjoying time spent with good girlfriends and family. Jason and I went home for about a week and spent some quality time with my family and that was such a gift! Everytime I get to see them, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have them. They bring such refreshment into my life, and I thank God for that every day. Wish you could have been there wish us big brother!
So, I've actually begun the process of gathering info and what not for The Beautiful Truth. It's been such a fun beginning to this journey. I was able to get my mission statement put together, my vision, and the things that I value in regards to this dream. Thanks Cyndy for helping me with your expertise in getting this stuff out!
Here's what the walls looked like while we were doing the vision cast!
And once again, I'm inspired.
The past few weeks have been just wonderful! I finished my job with the college and was able to do some last minute deep cleaning before my busy final year at CBC started. It was so nice to have a few weeks just to myself cleaning, and enjoying time spent with good girlfriends and family. Jason and I went home for about a week and spent some quality time with my family and that was such a gift! Everytime I get to see them, I'm reminded of how blessed I am to have them. They bring such refreshment into my life, and I thank God for that every day. Wish you could have been there wish us big brother!
So, I've actually begun the process of gathering info and what not for The Beautiful Truth. It's been such a fun beginning to this journey. I was able to get my mission statement put together, my vision, and the things that I value in regards to this dream. Thanks Cyndy for helping me with your expertise in getting this stuff out!
Here's what the walls looked like while we were doing the vision cast!
To you guys, this looks like a jumble of color. But to me, it's ideas, dreams, and goals that have been written on my heart for months and are finally out on paper! It's been so fun beginning my research and getting some foundation set. The Beautiful Truth is BEGINNING! I have a lot of work to do, lots of prayer, and boy oh boy I'm excited:)
If any of you know someone that's passionate about making a change in the hearts and minds of our young women in the way they see themselves. If you want to help, email me! If you want to be a prayer warrior, I REALLY need it.
I'll keep you all updated on what's new with The Beautiful Truth.
I'm waiting for something beautiful to start rolling on into my life....:)
Aug 21, 2010
Operation Beautiful
Operation Beautiful.
What a blessing it was to see the one woman who started this thing speak about it on The Today Show a few weeks back. One morning, this woman came to the realization that she was sick of trying to live up to an impossible expectation of beauty. So she decided to make a change. She started putting sticky notes on the mirror in public bathrooms and hoped to make one woman smile. This continued on until thousands of women started sending in pictures of the places they had left a note and then a book was born. Every time I watch these type of videos I am once again reminded of the need to get The Beautiful Truth going. It's just so exciting to see the many different things women are doing to take a stand and remind each other how beautiful we are JUST THE WAY we are! It's inspiring, encouraging, and boy it is affirming.
For those of you that are aware of this dream I believe God has put on my heart called The Beautiful Truth, I am in the early stages of getting this started! I've been meeting with some people and discussing the possibilities for this next year in using the internship hours I need to obtain in order to graduate, to gain a stronger foundation of what I want to begin. I am hoping to spend three months doing research and polls and interviews and studying in order to gain a better grasp of what it is young women are in need of learning. I want to talk with those who have done things similar to this, or just been involved in the lives of those that struggle with self confidence. I also want to begin meeting with girls and really getting to the heart of this issue, and seeing how to make a beautiful change in the way we see ourselves. I'm hoping to officially start this program, or group during my second semester of school. It will be like my little baby, so I want to see how it goes on the campus of Columbia Bible College. This is all if my prof allows me to use this as my internship which would give me 8 hours for sure a week of research research research until I dive right in. Say a prayer! I sure hope this works out for my internship.
Other than that, it's been exciting seeing how God has brought specific people into my life at this time with gifts that can be used with The Beautiful Truth. How exciting!! I'm noticing that there's a big target on my back and the devil is sure heaving some huge challenges my way lately. But I will overcome each and every challenge and fear. When I say challenge, I mean my own fight to see God's true beauty in myself have grown more difficult. I've noticed old battles poking in more recently, which leads me to draw even closer to the Lord in order to gain strength and beat down those lies. The battle sure continues, even if you are trying to make a difference in the lives of others. Yet, my Mom has always said, if you don't feel the devil trying to bring you down, then you're not too big of a worry in his eyes, and boy we WANT to be a worry in his eyes...that means we are really doing something incredible for our God! I'm just thankful to have God on my side, holding my hand, and walking me through those dark moments. Lately, all I have been hearing and reading about during my God time is GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS! So thank you God, for that reminder that I need every single time I'm down.
Well, now that I went from passionately sharing Operation Beautiful, to updating you on The Beautiful Truth, and finally sharing some of the deepest struggles going on in my life, I guess I should end this tangent:)
Time to go to sleep....
Britt
What a blessing it was to see the one woman who started this thing speak about it on The Today Show a few weeks back. One morning, this woman came to the realization that she was sick of trying to live up to an impossible expectation of beauty. So she decided to make a change. She started putting sticky notes on the mirror in public bathrooms and hoped to make one woman smile. This continued on until thousands of women started sending in pictures of the places they had left a note and then a book was born. Every time I watch these type of videos I am once again reminded of the need to get The Beautiful Truth going. It's just so exciting to see the many different things women are doing to take a stand and remind each other how beautiful we are JUST THE WAY we are! It's inspiring, encouraging, and boy it is affirming.
For those of you that are aware of this dream I believe God has put on my heart called The Beautiful Truth, I am in the early stages of getting this started! I've been meeting with some people and discussing the possibilities for this next year in using the internship hours I need to obtain in order to graduate, to gain a stronger foundation of what I want to begin. I am hoping to spend three months doing research and polls and interviews and studying in order to gain a better grasp of what it is young women are in need of learning. I want to talk with those who have done things similar to this, or just been involved in the lives of those that struggle with self confidence. I also want to begin meeting with girls and really getting to the heart of this issue, and seeing how to make a beautiful change in the way we see ourselves. I'm hoping to officially start this program, or group during my second semester of school. It will be like my little baby, so I want to see how it goes on the campus of Columbia Bible College. This is all if my prof allows me to use this as my internship which would give me 8 hours for sure a week of research research research until I dive right in. Say a prayer! I sure hope this works out for my internship.
Other than that, it's been exciting seeing how God has brought specific people into my life at this time with gifts that can be used with The Beautiful Truth. How exciting!! I'm noticing that there's a big target on my back and the devil is sure heaving some huge challenges my way lately. But I will overcome each and every challenge and fear. When I say challenge, I mean my own fight to see God's true beauty in myself have grown more difficult. I've noticed old battles poking in more recently, which leads me to draw even closer to the Lord in order to gain strength and beat down those lies. The battle sure continues, even if you are trying to make a difference in the lives of others. Yet, my Mom has always said, if you don't feel the devil trying to bring you down, then you're not too big of a worry in his eyes, and boy we WANT to be a worry in his eyes...that means we are really doing something incredible for our God! I'm just thankful to have God on my side, holding my hand, and walking me through those dark moments. Lately, all I have been hearing and reading about during my God time is GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS! So thank you God, for that reminder that I need every single time I'm down.
Well, now that I went from passionately sharing Operation Beautiful, to updating you on The Beautiful Truth, and finally sharing some of the deepest struggles going on in my life, I guess I should end this tangent:)
Time to go to sleep....
Britt
Yummy Fresh Smootheeee:)
Just had to share this royal yumminess with you. I found it in my wonderful Better Homes and Gardens mag...(aka- the housewives best friend) and today I finally tried it out! Here it is-
1 medium banana- (mine was mushy at the bottom so I only used half and it was still perfect)
3/4 cup of fresh rasberries- (mine were frozen because we were given such a GENEROUS amount of rasberries from some friends of ours. Thanks James and Amy!
1 tbs sugar
3/4 cup of 1% milk
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Mix together in your blender, and drink until your heart's delight! Or, until your heart is delighted...really, that saying doesn't make much sense, or else I don't quite have it right;)
Have an beautiful Saturday evening and I will blog again shortly.
Britt
1 medium banana- (mine was mushy at the bottom so I only used half and it was still perfect)
3/4 cup of fresh rasberries- (mine were frozen because we were given such a GENEROUS amount of rasberries from some friends of ours. Thanks James and Amy!
1 tbs sugar
3/4 cup of 1% milk
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Mix together in your blender, and drink until your heart's delight! Or, until your heart is delighted...really, that saying doesn't make much sense, or else I don't quite have it right;)
Have an beautiful Saturday evening and I will blog again shortly.
Britt
Aug 5, 2010
My Something Beautiful
Something beautiful. Something exciting. Something breathtaking and life changing.
These are all things we all desire. We desire to see something so breathtakingly beautiful. If you don't, then my goodness you need to! For the last few weeks I have heard this song on the radio and felt incredibly inspired to write, to blog. This morning I watched a short series called Breakthrough by Tony Robbins and the song Something Beautiful by NeedtoBreathe is their theme song. Not only does it fit, but millions of viewers are being blessed with one persons cry out to God, that turned into a song, that stirs our own hearts for "something beautiful".
So what is it?
What is that something beautiful?
What are you wanting to see, to experience, to witness?
As for me, this song stirs so many different emotions in my own heart, and I felt like sharing some of them with you. May it be a challenge to you to think of some of that "something beautiful" you desire to see.
My Something Beautiful-
-Even though I've seen many sunsets, I want to sit on some high mountain, hill, or cliff at the beach and watch our main source of light, energy, and heat fall beneath the ocean.
-In time, I want to experience the moment we first find out we are going to have a baby. I want to see the baby's first kick, first smile, first step.
-I want to be in conversation with someone and pray with someone as they accept Jesus as their Savior for the first time. I desire to see those tears of joy pour from their soul.
-I want overlook a beautiful canyon, or mountainous area and journal, worship, and talk with God.
-I want to see a room full of women being reminded of their TRUE beauty. I want to see the look in their eyes when they get it, when they realize that THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.
-I want to hear stories of men and women who have struggled with years of fear, anxiety, anorexia, bulimia, and everything else, and hear how GOD HELPED THEM OVERCOME
-I want to be back where I was the last night of our senior float trip where we sat on top of a hill underneath the stars and just soaked in the beauty of no city lights, no noise, just pure nature. Just God's creation.
-I want to feel the joy of running and completing my first fun run.
-I look forward to my 25th anniversary sitting next to my husband smiling at the fact that we thought one year was amazing, yet, we had no idea what wonderful things were to come.
-I want to experience whatever it is God is going to do with The Beautiful Truth. Just seeing the look on young women's faced when they are reminded of how TRULY BEAUTIFUL they are will bring tears to my eyes.
To me, my "something beautiful" is personal. It's my dreams, my hopes, and my desires. The list could go on and on, and to be honest, I hope that it never ends. Why?
Because GOD IS BEAUTIFUL.
GOD is my "something beautiful"
GOD has put these dreams in my heart.
GOD has written my love story with Jason.
GOD knows when my precious little babies will enter this world.
GOD loves me.
And GOD wants to bless me.
He wants to BLESS you. He wants to ROMANCE you. He wants to COMFORT you and SHOW you something beautiful.
So what is it? What is that "something beautiful" you want to see?
Here's the song that inspired me. Look at all the different people in this video that also desire to experience something beautiful. We are all alike, and God created us. So pray, and ASK Him to SHOW you SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.
Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq1H3l7kyYU&feature=av2n
These are all things we all desire. We desire to see something so breathtakingly beautiful. If you don't, then my goodness you need to! For the last few weeks I have heard this song on the radio and felt incredibly inspired to write, to blog. This morning I watched a short series called Breakthrough by Tony Robbins and the song Something Beautiful by NeedtoBreathe is their theme song. Not only does it fit, but millions of viewers are being blessed with one persons cry out to God, that turned into a song, that stirs our own hearts for "something beautiful".
So what is it?
What is that something beautiful?
What are you wanting to see, to experience, to witness?
As for me, this song stirs so many different emotions in my own heart, and I felt like sharing some of them with you. May it be a challenge to you to think of some of that "something beautiful" you desire to see.
My Something Beautiful-
-Even though I've seen many sunsets, I want to sit on some high mountain, hill, or cliff at the beach and watch our main source of light, energy, and heat fall beneath the ocean.
-In time, I want to experience the moment we first find out we are going to have a baby. I want to see the baby's first kick, first smile, first step.
-I want to be in conversation with someone and pray with someone as they accept Jesus as their Savior for the first time. I desire to see those tears of joy pour from their soul.
-I want overlook a beautiful canyon, or mountainous area and journal, worship, and talk with God.
-I want to see a room full of women being reminded of their TRUE beauty. I want to see the look in their eyes when they get it, when they realize that THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.
-I want to hear stories of men and women who have struggled with years of fear, anxiety, anorexia, bulimia, and everything else, and hear how GOD HELPED THEM OVERCOME
-I want to be back where I was the last night of our senior float trip where we sat on top of a hill underneath the stars and just soaked in the beauty of no city lights, no noise, just pure nature. Just God's creation.
-I want to feel the joy of running and completing my first fun run.
-I look forward to my 25th anniversary sitting next to my husband smiling at the fact that we thought one year was amazing, yet, we had no idea what wonderful things were to come.
-I want to experience whatever it is God is going to do with The Beautiful Truth. Just seeing the look on young women's faced when they are reminded of how TRULY BEAUTIFUL they are will bring tears to my eyes.
To me, my "something beautiful" is personal. It's my dreams, my hopes, and my desires. The list could go on and on, and to be honest, I hope that it never ends. Why?
Because GOD IS BEAUTIFUL.
GOD is my "something beautiful"
GOD has put these dreams in my heart.
GOD has written my love story with Jason.
GOD knows when my precious little babies will enter this world.
GOD loves me.
And GOD wants to bless me.
He wants to BLESS you. He wants to ROMANCE you. He wants to COMFORT you and SHOW you something beautiful.
So what is it? What is that "something beautiful" you want to see?
Here's the song that inspired me. Look at all the different people in this video that also desire to experience something beautiful. We are all alike, and God created us. So pray, and ASK Him to SHOW you SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL.
Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yq1H3l7kyYU&feature=av2n
Cast of Characters: Max Lucado
Beautiful. Intriguing. Inspiring. Uplifting.
I ordered this book from booksneeze.com a few weeks ago and am already inspired. Of course we all know how wonderful of an author Max Lucado is, so that would be one of the reasons why I am touched. Yet, another reason is the reality that the stories written in this book, are taken directly from the bible. They have been a part of our inspired word of God, and changed in a way that we can relate and grasp the reality these people faced every day of their lives many years ago. Cast of Characters is a book written about 22 individual lives we read about in the bible. Some of them would be Esther, Moses, Joseph, and even two criminals. I would totally recommend reading this book if you are looking for a light read, yet something that will also move in your heart. It's important for us to constantly gain a better understanding of how God has called us to live. Often, the best way to grasp these things, we can look at experiences of other people and see what they learned through out their lives. What a blessing it is to receive this book! Read it!
I ordered this book from booksneeze.com a few weeks ago and am already inspired. Of course we all know how wonderful of an author Max Lucado is, so that would be one of the reasons why I am touched. Yet, another reason is the reality that the stories written in this book, are taken directly from the bible. They have been a part of our inspired word of God, and changed in a way that we can relate and grasp the reality these people faced every day of their lives many years ago. Cast of Characters is a book written about 22 individual lives we read about in the bible. Some of them would be Esther, Moses, Joseph, and even two criminals. I would totally recommend reading this book if you are looking for a light read, yet something that will also move in your heart. It's important for us to constantly gain a better understanding of how God has called us to live. Often, the best way to grasp these things, we can look at experiences of other people and see what they learned through out their lives. What a blessing it is to receive this book! Read it!
Jul 22, 2010
Pushing Towards Breaking Free
It's time to get real.
I mean, I always try to be real, and honest when it comes to blogging, and all other areas of my life for that matter. Yet, today, I've decided to share with you some things that God is doing in my heart. They sure are big things, great things....just beautiful things.
So let's be honest. I struggle with fear.
Fear. Such a frustrating word. And for those of you who don't know me, wouldn't know that anxiety has poked itself into my life for quite some time. It's something that almost everyone struggles with in my family when you look down the line. Well, I would say quite the majority at least. Worry, yes, that's normal. But anxiety, the thing that can take over and make you fear everything, obsess over little things, feel nervous for absolutely nothing, yes, that one can sure take over easily. It's something that so many people struggle with and don't even realize it. It's something I have learned to cope with, work through, and ignore.
God has done incredible things in my heart and has truly held onto me when I felt the most frustrated with this "thorn in my flesh" like I've called it many times. And I thank Him continually.
But let me tell you, over the last few months he has been 'stewing' something deep in my heart. He has been pushing me to give up the things I worry about, the things I hold on to, the way I cope with this ugly thorn known as anxiety. And it's been quite the hard hike let me tell you.
The last week or so I felt like I was climbing a mountain that just didn't seem to ever let up. It was like there was no resting point, no place that wasn't constantly going straight up. And boy did that suck. I was tired! Just like you get when hiking up a steep hill, or mountain, that feeling where you are ready to get to the top, and enjoy the view, the freedom. I've been wanting to get there, yet was feeling bogged down by my "lack of being in shape". It was as though I wasn't realizing the strength and ability I have to beat down the things that can really build up walls in my life.
(I'm sorry if any of this isn't making sense for some of you, yet if you struggle with or have struggled with anxiety, this just might sound familiar to you, so bare with me:)
I met with a great friend this morning and told her about the tough week I was experiencing, and after a few hours, it hit me. I realized that I was totally allowing the devil to bring me down and keep me from climbing the mountain of overcoming my fears. I wasn't LISTENING to God whisper into my heart that I can beat this, I can work through the things that bring me down. I was holding onto something that I learned to be ok with. A wonderful author and teacher named Beth Moore says in her devotional called Breaking Free that in her moments of being stuck in those difficult times, she was fine with just coping. She was fine with just staying in those chains that took ahold of her.
We all have something that can bring us fear, we all have something that can take over and keep us from being who God created us to be and who he wants us to be. We all have that thing that kind of bind us. For me, it's been my struggle with anxiety, and I became ok with just living with it. But God has other plans.
It's been a tough week hitting those "chains" head on. It's been a struggle to be honest, and I'm sure it's not been so easy for my husband Jason because he's had to just sit back and watch me try to climb the mountain that has grown in my life. He did pray for me yes, and he spent time listening to me as well. But it took me realizing what I wasn't allowing God to do in my life, and understanding that I needed to get on my hands and knees and lay my heart out to the Lord.
That's exactly what I did. I turned on a great worship mix, opened my journal, and wrote out everything that I was feeling. At one point the song Oh My God by Jars of Clay came on and it just broke me down. The lyrics talk about all the different horrible things that go on in this world, and how all that we can do is cry out to God. That's it. I needed to cry out to God. And boy did I cry! That's not something I do a whole lot while worshipping God (and I wish I did), yet at this time, it was like "I just needed a good cry." I can hear my Mom saying it right now.
And it worked. God worked. And I saw!
Guys, I know this post must be difficult for some to read, and it may also not make any sense. Yet it was on my heart to be honest, and to be vulnerable. I know many people that struggle with anxiety and I felt that there must be others that could be reading this and might need a little encouragement.
I can do it. YOU can do it. WE can all climb that mountain that has been growing in our lives. We can all overcome the things that seem to bind us and keep us from being WHO and WHAT God desires for us to be.
I could share many verses with you to support this, and boy I should! Yet, I want to leave you with this.
GOD CAN. GOD WILL if we allow Him. GOD DOES have an incredible plan for our lives, and GOD WILL help us to CONQUER our fears.
Praise God:)
I'll continue filling you in on this journey I am on, and I hope and pray that you can see the great work God wants to do in your heart. For now, I'm gonna continue pressing towards the Lord and praying that he can continue to break my heart and build it back up just as he desires it to be.
Thank you God:)
The Brittsters.
I mean, I always try to be real, and honest when it comes to blogging, and all other areas of my life for that matter. Yet, today, I've decided to share with you some things that God is doing in my heart. They sure are big things, great things....just beautiful things.
So let's be honest. I struggle with fear.
Fear. Such a frustrating word. And for those of you who don't know me, wouldn't know that anxiety has poked itself into my life for quite some time. It's something that almost everyone struggles with in my family when you look down the line. Well, I would say quite the majority at least. Worry, yes, that's normal. But anxiety, the thing that can take over and make you fear everything, obsess over little things, feel nervous for absolutely nothing, yes, that one can sure take over easily. It's something that so many people struggle with and don't even realize it. It's something I have learned to cope with, work through, and ignore.
God has done incredible things in my heart and has truly held onto me when I felt the most frustrated with this "thorn in my flesh" like I've called it many times. And I thank Him continually.
But let me tell you, over the last few months he has been 'stewing' something deep in my heart. He has been pushing me to give up the things I worry about, the things I hold on to, the way I cope with this ugly thorn known as anxiety. And it's been quite the hard hike let me tell you.
The last week or so I felt like I was climbing a mountain that just didn't seem to ever let up. It was like there was no resting point, no place that wasn't constantly going straight up. And boy did that suck. I was tired! Just like you get when hiking up a steep hill, or mountain, that feeling where you are ready to get to the top, and enjoy the view, the freedom. I've been wanting to get there, yet was feeling bogged down by my "lack of being in shape". It was as though I wasn't realizing the strength and ability I have to beat down the things that can really build up walls in my life.
(I'm sorry if any of this isn't making sense for some of you, yet if you struggle with or have struggled with anxiety, this just might sound familiar to you, so bare with me:)
I met with a great friend this morning and told her about the tough week I was experiencing, and after a few hours, it hit me. I realized that I was totally allowing the devil to bring me down and keep me from climbing the mountain of overcoming my fears. I wasn't LISTENING to God whisper into my heart that I can beat this, I can work through the things that bring me down. I was holding onto something that I learned to be ok with. A wonderful author and teacher named Beth Moore says in her devotional called Breaking Free that in her moments of being stuck in those difficult times, she was fine with just coping. She was fine with just staying in those chains that took ahold of her.
We all have something that can bring us fear, we all have something that can take over and keep us from being who God created us to be and who he wants us to be. We all have that thing that kind of bind us. For me, it's been my struggle with anxiety, and I became ok with just living with it. But God has other plans.
It's been a tough week hitting those "chains" head on. It's been a struggle to be honest, and I'm sure it's not been so easy for my husband Jason because he's had to just sit back and watch me try to climb the mountain that has grown in my life. He did pray for me yes, and he spent time listening to me as well. But it took me realizing what I wasn't allowing God to do in my life, and understanding that I needed to get on my hands and knees and lay my heart out to the Lord.
That's exactly what I did. I turned on a great worship mix, opened my journal, and wrote out everything that I was feeling. At one point the song Oh My God by Jars of Clay came on and it just broke me down. The lyrics talk about all the different horrible things that go on in this world, and how all that we can do is cry out to God. That's it. I needed to cry out to God. And boy did I cry! That's not something I do a whole lot while worshipping God (and I wish I did), yet at this time, it was like "I just needed a good cry." I can hear my Mom saying it right now.
And it worked. God worked. And I saw!
Guys, I know this post must be difficult for some to read, and it may also not make any sense. Yet it was on my heart to be honest, and to be vulnerable. I know many people that struggle with anxiety and I felt that there must be others that could be reading this and might need a little encouragement.
I can do it. YOU can do it. WE can all climb that mountain that has been growing in our lives. We can all overcome the things that seem to bind us and keep us from being WHO and WHAT God desires for us to be.
I could share many verses with you to support this, and boy I should! Yet, I want to leave you with this.
GOD CAN. GOD WILL if we allow Him. GOD DOES have an incredible plan for our lives, and GOD WILL help us to CONQUER our fears.
Praise God:)
I'll continue filling you in on this journey I am on, and I hope and pray that you can see the great work God wants to do in your heart. For now, I'm gonna continue pressing towards the Lord and praying that he can continue to break my heart and build it back up just as he desires it to be.
Thank you God:)
The Brittsters.
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